I’m not entirely sure, but judging by my feet, I may be descended from an odd mix of Hobbits, Fred Flintstone, and Sasquatch. My size 10WW are also blessed with bunions and corns. Did I mention my ankles are severely pronated (they roll to the inside as I walk)? With all these foot issues, it’s no wonder I have a hard time keeping them smooth.
It doesn’t get much sexier than my gnarly feet, does it?
I’ve been searching for a lazy way of getting that wonderfully soft and smooth just-pedicured effect without having to go to the salon, where I always over-tip the poor nail tech who has to deal with my dogs. It’s my way of apologizing for putting her through such a harrowing experience because every time I get a pedicure, my feet look as if they’ve never been pedicured before.
I invested in pumice stones, brushes, exfoliating foot creams (Bliss used to make a wonderful one but it’s never been quite the same after Marcia Kilgore sold the business), foot files, those moisturizing socks, and even bought a callus shaver that I couldn’t work up the courage to use. And still my feet remained virtually bullet-proof.
A couple of weeks ago, I was browsing Amazon for a moisturizing foot mask when I saw something called Dream Feet.
I wish I had dreamy feet, I thought, and immediately ordered a pair. Yes, pair. Because these are little plastic booties you slide your
tough, leathery clodhoppers er, feet into. Sorry, I’m projecting.
Anyway, these little booties are lined with fruit acids to exfoliate and chamomile extracts to soothe. The directions on the package say to leave these things on for up to 90 minutes. I lay on my bed and window-shopped for fab shoes in which to show off my gorgeous new feet while wearing the sock-masks on for an hour before I decided to rinse off the solution; my feet were starting to get warm and tingly and I was afraid they would burn off if I left the socks on too long. I mean, it didn’t really burn or even hurt, but I’m a paranoid person and didn’t want to take a chance.
For the next five days, I stared at my feet, hoping the skin would come off in one big sheet like a snake molting and leaving behind a snake-shaped shell of skin. Nothing. If anything, the soles looked super super dry and cracked. They felt papery and tight. The package said you don’t see any sign of peeling for five to seven days, but of course, I’m all about instant gratification and was disappointed in the lack of results.
After a long day of work today (day six), I flopped onto my bed and pulled off my socks. And gaped at my feet. There were sheets of skin just hanging off my soles.
You know when something is just too gross not to look? Yeah, it’s like that.
Which is why I’m going to post a picture of my peeling foot. So if you’re easily yucked out, stop reading.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you so don’t yell at me later! :D
Ha, I didn’t notice until just now but apparently I’ve been shedding large bits of skin; I found pieces in the hallway that must have fallen off as I walked around the apartment. Good. New toys for the cat!
I’m really thrilled to be seeing my feet molt. Is that weird? It’s just kind of nice to see the newer skin underneath. I mentally croon to it and make all kinds of promises about taking tender and loving care of it.
Oh yeah, the directions also say not to pick at the peeling skin and just let it come off when it’s ready. Erm, How can you not pick at it???
In sum, I would buy this again just for the ick factor and the eventual foot smoothing. It doesn’t happen right away, and apparently soaking your feet for a few minutes before putting on the booties will help the cream do its job more efficiently. Which I did. I’m kind of afraid of what tomorrow’s molting is going to look like.